If You Were Here


If you were here –

I would stand in your presence and drink you in until all my senses were numb.

If you were here –

I would hang on your every word.

If you were here –

Every word from my mouth would bear my thanks and gratitude for all you are, and all you were to me.

If you were here –

I would kiss you hello and hug you so tight it would be impossible for you to go.

If you were here –

I would put on a pot of coffee and sit across the table from you and stare into your beautiful blue eyes.

If you were here –

I would beg you to tell me what you saw in me and why you loved me so deeply.

If you were here –

I would touch your face and drink in the gentleness that radiates from you like the glistening sun on the turquois water of the sea.

If you were here –

I would halt all the clocks and stop time forever.

If you were here –

I would beg you to sing the Rolling Stones song, Dead Flowers to me at the breakfast counter one hundred more times.

If you were here -

I would dig deep down inside myself and settle the agony I feel from losing you.

If you were here –

I would be more intentional with my words and my actions. I would never let a moment pass where you weren’t 100% certain of how I felt for you.

If you were here –

I would take back every ill thought I had when you were alive.

If you were here –

I would take away all the hurt and disappointment you experienced in your life.

If you were here –

I would calm your fears and protect you from the sadness and disappointment you felt as a child.

If you were here –

I would tell you how awful it was the day you died ~ I would tell you how I died with you.

If you were here –

I would cry until all my tears dried up and there was no more pain.

If you were here –

I would share with you the excitement and pride I feel every day as I watch our grandbabies grow and embrace life.

If you were here –

I would share with you all I have written about you and the love we shared.

If you were here –

I would roll over in bed and hold you so you could never get up.

If you were here –

I would tell you how hard life is without you and how courageous I have to be to face each and every new day.

If you were here -

I would tell you how long it took me to feel again after your death.

If you were here –

I would tattoo more of your words on my body so I could hear you forever.

If you were here –

I would tell you how hard it is to move on without you in my life.

If you were here –

I would beg you to forgive me for finding peace in your absence.

If you were here –

I would tell you how hard it was to forgive myself for letting another man love me.

If you were here –

I would share my joy in finding love again.

If you were here –

I would be ashamed to share with you the pleasure I felt in letting another man explore my body while telling me he loved me.

If you were here –

You could see that I carry you with me each and every day. You could see that you are always with me and that your memory is alive and well and that my mission is to bring honor to your memory in everything I say and do.

If you were here -

You would know that you are the breath in my lungs and the courage in my heart that keeps me engaged in life without you.